Monday, 16 January 2012

What's cooler than cool?

At 34 years of age I'd thought my really cool funky days had gone. Today, someone reaffirmed my faith in myself by saying I was really cool.

I'd built a papier mache model of myself as usual and placed it in a noose above my desk. As is often the case, by peeking from the stationary cupboard, I witnessed colleagues rush to free the accurate replica and commence resuscitation. When the chest caved in to reveal the newspaper interior they realised they had been duped again and I burst out of the cupboard feet first. Slamming forcefully into the chest of the nearest colleague, I screeched "Marbles" and thrashed at my clothes, eventually removing them.

Naked I began to strut back and forth with a vile smirk attached to my face like leeches on a child's leg. "Who wants to expedite some actions on my ass?" I'd ask each person in turn. That was when a member of security beamed down from the ship and began to beat me with his cyber-wand.

I was gratified and bleeding to hear, with each successive thrash, him state clearly "you….are…really…cool".

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